Feeling Sad About My Postponed Wedding
Updated: Jan 10
Every morning, this is my view while doing my devotion: my wedding gown. Natz and I are supposed to get married this April...but due to the Metro Manila Enhanced Community Quarantine, there is a likelihood that we'll encounter some delays in our wedding due to the coronavirus issue. So, yes. I am feeling sad about my soon-to-be postponed wedding.
We were about 80% done and completely on track with our preparations before the quarantine was announced. We actually had a countdown app, and we'd greet each other daily with a good morning text and with excitement that we were going to get married in XX days. The first announcement of a community quarantine caught us off guard. We weren't expecting it at all. We even scheduled the wedding at a time that friends and family from Romblon (which is around 30% of the guests) could come. We also had a handful of friends and family flying in from abroad.
People kept on asking us about what would happen to our wedding, and we were honestly clueless. (Add to that the fact that we also had to make a decision about our youth convention in Davao, also supposedly happening this April.) We couldn't decide immediately what to do--probably still in denial that our plans needed to drastically change--but we eventually came to a decision. We were quite fine since we just had to avoid a mass gathering and travelling in and out of Metro Manila. We were sad that the Romblon contingent won't be able to join. However, we resolved that we'd be fine with a very small church wedding, with no more than 10 people to witness our marriage covenant. There was going to be no fanfare -- no more decor, etc. Just something intimate.
But then, things changed so quickly.
The quarantine got elevated to basically a household lockdown. Our hope of gathering a few special people and just grabbing lunch in some resto afterwards suddenly seems to be unfeasible and impossible. I had more people asking me about the wedding, and their how are you's had a mix of concern, pity, and sympathy. I appreciated it, but I'd just give a one-line answer or just a "haaaaai" reply, as I have tried in the last 2 weeks to avoid conversations about it.
Just recently, Natz shared his heart with me that he expressed his sadness to the Lord about our situation. I brushed it off and I was quick to remind him that we shouldn't worry because whatever we ask for in Jesus' name, we can get -- if it will be towards the greater glory of God! After all, that's what I truly believe and claim for our wedding--na maging mas wonderful pa, kahit naiba ang plans namin, para ang Lord ang maitaas and not us.
I've been steadfast in my faith that God will turn this seemingly bad circumstance for our good. Unlike what most would expect, I've been calm and collected amidst everything. It helps to put things in perspective--when I think of COVID patients, the frontliners, people who have no resources during a time like this, I realize that my issue is not so much life-and-death. I've been pretty 'strong' about it...until last Wednesday during our family prayer meeting. It was the first time that Natz and I got to pray together in person about our wedding--and I got teary-eyed as I prayed while we were holding hands. Maybe it has all finally sunk in.
It is all but normal to feel sad about a postponed wedding or even just having some major change of plans especially for a very organized and detailed person like me. But, I reminded myself that God is still good. And my tears stopped themselves from falling, and I ended up just staring at my fiance and holding his hand tight.😊
Despite all the trouble, there are still loads of things I am thankful for:
My God-fearing husband-to-be whose faith helps increase my faith as well.
The fact that 80% of our wedding is DIY, which means we don't have a lot of suppliers.
Favor from our caterer and venue about the reschedule.
Having a manageable number of guests so it's not challenging to coordinate changes.
No additional pressure from family and friends, and everyone being understanding about the situation.
In case you're wondering, we're still unsure about how to proceed. I was planning to do some research and strategizing this morning but the Word from the Lord to me today in Psalm 46 is that I can BE STILL and KNOW that He is God. He is our EVER-PRESENT HELP in times of need so there's no need to worry or be afraid. Natz and I both fully believe by faith that God cares about us and our concerns, and that His favor is upon us as His children. We know that He will allow whatever will happen to our wedding to be a testimony of His marvelous mercy and might! And as a sign of our faith, we are pushing through with DIY-ing of souvenirs, flowers and other materials😉
May you find rest in God no matter what situation you are in this season. The very famous Psalm 23 says: The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.