Lessons Learned from One Month of Being Married
Updated: Jan 10
KFC generously sent some food over to us last May 6 -- and then we realized that we already hit one month of being married and we have a lot of lessons we've learned!
When Natz and I lie in bed and stare at each other, I often tell him that I can't believe we're already a legit couple. We used to dream about finally having the freedom to be together--because we used to always go out with other people or hang out in public places like Play Nation (to avoid temptation).
We've been learning and discovering a lot over our one month of being married, especially since our relationship has again gone into "overdrive"/flash-forward mode because we're together 24/7 due to the pandemic-related quarantine. With that, here are 4 lessons we've learned from one month of married lif that we'd like to share with you.
4 Lessons Learned from One Month of Being Married
1. Marriage is fun!!!!
The first lesson we learned from one month of married life is that MARRIAGE IS FUN. Yes! It's so much fun to be married! My favorite moments are when we watch a TV show together (especially Thursdays when we watch Survivor) while eating home-cooked dinner, when we have fun cuddling sessions (which we learned from our godchild, Eeia), when we share a long hug, and when we just hangout and listen to Christian songs and ponder on the goodness of God.
We're pretty limited in terms of what we can do due to the COVID situation, that's why we're also veeeery excited to be able to go out-- to swim together, to watch a movie together, to go on a joyride, and of course to travel. Other than that, we just appreciate literally getting to be together during our first month of marriage, which used to be a challenge for us. And since we're honest here, we also get to enjoy intimate time that we know is pleasing to the Lord and also does not cause worries and trouble.
2. Marriage makes you grow
The second lesson we learned from one month of married life is that MARRIAGE MAKES YOU GROW. Since getting married and until now on our first month, I have been able to cook so many meals to the point that I think I can open a tiny restaurant! Haha! We have accumulated so much life skills in the last month--doing efficient grocery shopping, cleaning our toilet, killing ants, budgeting household money, decorating our home, peeling mangoes, etc.
We are also able to learn from each other -- for example, I help my husband with his project management stuff at work and to improve on his communication skills, and I learn about "handy" stuff & anger management (lol) from him. Beyond the practical stuff though, we've also grown in terms of our care for each other, care for others, accountability and responsibility, EQ, way of handling disagreements, etc.
And we also grew in terms of size and weight. Hehehe!
3. Marriage is not all about giddy feelings, it involves "hard work"
The third lesson we learned from one month of married life is that MARRIAGE INVOLVES HARD WORK. If all you care about is romantic highs, marriage is not yet for you. We often say that love is NOT just a feeling but a CHOICE, but this is made more evident when you are already in a marriage covenant. It's not going to be all rainbows and butterflies and giddy feelings.
Don't get me wrong, there will still be a lot of that, especially for us on our first month of marriage. But you cannot just run on those feelings the whole time. "Hard work" is needed -- not because it is always difficult, but it requires a daily decision to work on the marriage--there's conflict resolution, communication management, handling difficult situations, collaboration, etc. If you want to have a great marriage, you can't just "let it be"--it won't happen naturally--but you have to actively work as a team (you + spouse + God) to make it happen!
4. Marriage requires grace
The fourth lesson we learned from one month of married life is that MARRIAGE NEEDS GRACE. There will be a lot of quarrels, frustrations, and disappointments which you can only overcome through GRACE. (We are able to say this even if we're only on our first month of marriage. You get the point. Haha!) And this is where it becomes so important that both of you understand and have experienced grace from the One who is the main source of it.
We've said it before and we'll say it again: You're able to fully know yet still fully love the other, because God has been the first to fully know yet fully love you. It is when you are both grounded in God's love and humbled by His mercy that you are able to make room for mistakes and able to truly forgive. By God's grace to you that you can then extend to your partner, you'll be able to stick with each other even through the tough times.